ADHD Isn’t Just a Kid Thing: Therapy for Adults Managing Overload

By Ben Rea, LCSW

If you’ve ever walked into a room and forgotten why, opened 17 tabs but finished none of them, or felt like your to-do list is sprinting while you're crawling—you’re not alone.

Many adults are discovering later in life that ADHD has been quietly shaping their days for years. It doesn’t always look like hyperactivity. In fact, it often shows up as mental gridlock, emotional fatigue, and frustration that feels oddly familiar—especially when the stakes are high, or the tasks are boring.

It’s not that you’re lazy. It’s that your brain is busy doing too many things at once, even if nothing’s actually getting done.

The Executive Function Bottleneck

Executive function is like your brain’s project manager. It helps you:

• Plan

• Prioritize

• Initiate tasks

• Stay organized

• Manage time

• Regulate emotions

In ADHD, that “manager” is usually understaffed and overwhelmed. There’s often plenty of insight—people with ADHD usually know what they need to do. The problem is getting started, keeping momentum, and finishing before something more urgent takes over.

This creates what I call the executive function bottleneck—when all the tasks, ideas, and responsibilities pile up at the door, and you can’t get any one of them through. It’s not a character flaw. It’s a wiring issue.

And it’s treatable.

Therapy Tools + Coaching for Change

ADHD isn’t something you “fix”—but you can work with your brain instead of against it. The key is pairing external structure with internal compassion. Here are a few tools we use in our therapy sessions:

Externalization

If it lives in your head, it’s invisible. We work on turning mental clutter into visual systems—calendars, checklists, whiteboards, timers.
Learn how visual planning helps ADHD

Task Chunking

We break big, vague demands (“clean the house”) into small, clear, finishable actions (“clear kitchen counter”). Starting small builds momentum.

Time Awareness

People with ADHD often struggle with time blindness. We use analog clocks, countdown apps, and scheduled body breaks to stay anchored.
Time blindness explained (ADD.org)

Self-Talk Reframes

That inner voice? It’s often critical and impatient. We shift it toward supportive realism: “This is hard, but I’ve done hard things.”

Values-Driven Planning

When your actions are anchored in what matters to you, they stick longer. We align goals with values—whether that’s showing up for your kids, building a creative career, or just not feeling so scattered all the time.

Coaching brings structure and action steps. Therapy brings insight, healing, and clarity.

Together, they create space for real change.

When to Seek Help

You don’t have to be falling apart to reach out.

But if any of this sounds familiar:

• You’re constantly overwhelmed but rarely finishing what matters

• You’ve tried every productivity hack and still feel behind

• You’re emotionally drained from masking or overcompensating

• You’re smart and capable, but life still feels like quicksand

…it might be time to stop white-knuckling it alone.

If you’re in or near San Luis Obispo and want support, reach out here or call 805-903-2604.